


What Could Have Been

by orphan_account



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-16 11:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4623501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holly returns to find Gail in a relationship with someone else. Not going to be Gail/Holly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Nice seeing you too.” Gail heard as she wandered out of 15th after her shift. She immediately recognised the voice, even though it couldn’t be…

“Holly?” Gail said, eyes widening. “Oh my god what are you doing here?”

Holly turned away from Price who practically ran away, and came face first with her ex. A tidal wave of emotions came over her, she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed the blonde until now.

“Hey,” she started, a lop sided smile forming on her face. “I uhh… I got my old job back. San Francisco was great, but just not what I was looking for.”

Gail’s mind was a mess, she felt arms slide around her from behind and a chaste kiss pressed on her cheek.

“Hey babe, want to go out for breakfast?” Frankie said, turning the blonde around to face her, noticing the tension between the two women.

“Umm yeah sounds great. Frankie this is Holly Stewart, Holly this is Frankie. She’s my girlfriend.” Gail said motioning awkwardly between them.

Frankie’s eyebrows shot up as she eyed Holly up and down, a smirk forming on her face.

“Ohh, this is the ex that left you for America. Heard so much about you Holly, did you come straight from the airport? You look awful!”

Gail smacked her in the chest. “She didn’t mean that,” she started, pushing Frankie towards a car. “She’s just knackered from working all night.”

“Oh I totally meant it.” Frankie said chuckling, opening the car and getting in. “Lovely meeting you Holly, hope we get to work with each other soon.”

Gail turned back to Holly her ears tinged red. “I’m umm sorry about her. I would say she’s usually not like that but she kinda is.”

Holly laughed awkwardly, backing up and pointing over her shoulder at the entrance.

“I should get to work, first day back and all that. It was nice seeing you again Gail.”

A car horn sounded throughout the car park. They both turned to see Frankie smirking behind the wheel.

“Yeah I’m going to go then. See you around Holly.”

Gail turned and marched to the car, turning to face Frankie when she got in.

“What the hell was that!?”

“No idea what you mean.” Frankie replied as she put the car into drive and sped out onto the road.

“You are infuriating sometimes.” Gail said, not willing to let this go. “What has she ever done to you?”

Frankie’s smirk dropped off her face and she turned to face Gail, an unusually serious expression on her face.

“She broke your heart babe. Sorry if I’m a little pissed at her for doing that to the person I love.”

Gail softened. She wasn’t expecting that. Even after over a year together, these moments with Frankie always surprised her. They both loved each other, she knew that, but they weren’t the type of people to express it verbally often. Frankie had been there for her after the fallout of Steve’s trial and her family basically disowning her, she had been there after losing Sophie and she had been there ever since. She proved her love daily without needing to say it.

Gail turned and relaxed in the seat, a small smile forming on her face. Frankie turned and noticed, her face scrunching up in confusion.

“Sooooo you’re not mad at me?” She asked, eyes flicking from the road to Gail.

“Nah, it’s nice to know you still get super jealous.”

Frankie scoffed. “Please, I do not get jealous. That was nothing to do with me being jealous. I mean how old even is she? I didn’t think grandmas were your type, I swear I saw a grey hair.”

Gail rolled her eyes, used to Frankie’s defence mechanism now.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Just get me some food woman.”

 

-

 

“Dr Stewart! Oh my god it is you. Isn’t it great we’re going to be working together on this case?” Frankie exclaimed, strolling into the morgue with her signature smirk on her face.

Holly was hunched over her computer, her back away from the door, meaning Frankie couldn’t see her grimace. She turned around, plastering a fake smile on her face and motioned to the dead body on the table, explaining her findings to the Detective.

She was almost finished when Gail walked in in full uniform, her attention focused on the notebook she was scribbling in.

“Hey Frankie, Nash knew I was coming here and told me to give you this.” She said, pulling the folder out from under her armpit and handing it over.

“Why was you coming here?” Frankie asked, confused.

Gail looked up at her from her notebook. “Oh yeah right, you left your phone at home,” she said, reaching into her pocket to get it.

It was only then she realised who else was in the room.

“Oh hey Holly. I thought this was Dr Taylor’s room, I thought you’d be back in your old one.” She said awkwardly, eyes flicking between her girlfriend and her ex. “I didn’t realise you guys would be working together.”

“Well Gail I am a homicide detective and Holly here specialises in dead people, so I assume that I’ll be working with her quite a lot.”

This time both women noticed the grimace on Holly’s face and Gail cringed.

“Frankie please be nice,” she begged, already knowing there was no point in asking.

“I am always nice,” she replied, quickly kissing Gail on the lips and smacking her on the arse before walking out. “Cheers doc, and cheers babe for the phone.”

It was only then that Holly really noticed Gail in her uniform. Her hair was once again long and in a ponytail, similar to the first time they made out in an interrogation room. It was mad to think that was almost two years ago. She had heard from Price that Gail was now a TO and doing really well at it. She had also heard that Gail and Anderson were living together.

She sat back down at her computer, desperate to put space between herself and Gail.

“So I take it you two are serious?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Yeah, we started seeing each around Andy and Swarek’s wedding so it’s been over a year now.” Gail replied awkwardly.

Holly turned and chuckled. “You have a thing for weddings.”

“I guess so,” she replied, remembering the kiss in the coat closet. “Anyway I’ve got to run, rookies to terrorise and whatnot.”

A moment passed, both women stood there wondering what could have been.

Holly nodded and turned back round to her computer. “See you around Gail.”

Holly waited until the door had clicked shut before allowing the tears to stream down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Apologies for the delay, been a hectic few weeks. Next two chapters should be out pretty quick after this one.

 

-

 

Holly had been back a few weeks now and Frankie had enjoyed tormenting her every case they worked. She didn’t like to admit it but she knew that even though Gail and Holly had barely dated they had meant a lot to each other. She could tell that Holly was still into Gail, it was obvious any time they were in the room together. Frankie was confident in her relationship with Gail though, so she was still going to go ahead with tonight, something she had been planning long before Holly had returned.

She held the door of the Penny open for Gail, receiving a kiss from the blonde as she passed through. Frankie headed straight to the bar, knowing she would need some liquid courage for what she was planning on doing tonight.

She ordered a round of drinks and downed the shot of tequila as soon as it was placed in front of her. She then picked up the tray and carried it to the table where Gail had joined her group of friends. Nash smirked at her, the only one who knew about tonight. Not that Frankie had told her willingly, Nash had cornered her today wondering why she looked so nervous.

“Thanks,” Gail said, taking her drink off the tray and returning to her conversation with Chris.

Frankie reached into her pocket, feeling the ring that was in there. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was about this. She couldn’t believe she was even about to propose. She remembered a conversation with Gail where she had blurted out her thoughts on the whole institution of marriage. She also remembered how Gail had outright said she would never marry her. Frankie paled visibly and Traci grabbed her arm and dragged her outside, Gail turned and her brow wrinkled in confusion before shrugging and turning back to Chris.

“What’s going on,” Traci demanded once they had got outside.

“I can’t do it. We don’t need to be married, maybe it’s not for us.” Frankie replied, pacing nervously.

“Oh shut up Anderson. You two were made for each other. You both actually somehow make each other less bitchy, like two negatives make a positive or something like that,” Traci said.

“She said she didn’t want to marry me Traci. Those exact words left her mouth.”

“That was over a year ago you idiot. She didn’t even know you then. Look it’s up to you if you want to do this or not, but I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.” With that Traci returned back into the bar, leaving Frankie on her own.

She pulled out a cigarette and eyed it. Gail had made it clear from the beginning that she disliked the habit and eventually she had quit completely. She had bought a pack earlier today, thinking she might need it to calm her nerves. Frankie shook her head and chucked the cigarette and the rest of the untouched packet in the bin before marching back into the bar.

Gail watched as Frankie came back through the door. The brunette marched directly over to her and dropped to one knee, pulling out a ring. The blonde’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

“Gail, I love you more than I thought was possible. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so would you please marry me?” Frankie asked.

Gail’s mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

“Babe, an answer would be great,” Frankie added nervously.

“Yes,” the blonde whispered in reply. “Yes of course,” she added more confidently.

Frankie smiled in relief, taking Gail’s left hand and sliding the ring on gently. She crashed their lips together, pulling back when she felt tears sliding down her fiancée’s face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked, wiping the tears away with her thumbs.

“I didn’t think you wanted to get married,” Gail replied. “I’m just really happy.”

 

-

 

Gail was finally happy. Her life was finally drama free and she had a wonderful woman who wanted to marry her. She loved Frankie more than she thought possible. She never thought she could love again after Holly had left her and after adopting Sophie had fell through.

She rolled over on to her side to face her new fiancée. They had been up late last night celebrating. She ran her fingertips up and down the brunettes arm, smiling as they left goosebumps in their wake. Eventually their alarm clock started announcing the morning news and she silenced it before slipping out of the sheets and into the shower.

She guessed it to only be 2 minutes before she felt cool air hit her skin as the shower door slid open and arms encircle her waist.

“Morning gorgeous,” Frankie murmured into Gail’s shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”

“How could I not after last night, you knocked me out.” Gail replied smirking.

“Well I aim to please, future wife.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN: Apologies for the lack of Frankie but this isn’t just a Frankie/Gail fic. It will involve Holly quite a lot as she is a major part of the story.

 -

Holly had been sat in the Penny for over an hour now and she was already on her way to being drunk. She had heard from some officers from 15 that Frankie had proposed to Gail last night and whatever slight hope she had left had been completely shattered. She downed the rest of her drink and motioned to the bartender to refill her glass. She turned around on her barstool and surveyed the room, almost missing the blonde tucked away in the corner. She frowned and picked up her drink before making her way over.

“Gail?” She asked. The blonde was hunched over her drink and jumped when her name was called.

“Jesus Holly you almost gave me a heart attack…” she replied motioning for Holly to sit in the seat opposite her.

Holly sat down and eyed the woman in front of her warily.

“Are you alright? I thought you’d be with Frankie, I heard about the engagement.” She finally said, motioning to the sparkling diamond on the blonde’s ring finger.

“She got a big case today, she’ll probably be working all night so I didn’t want to distract her. I’m fine really, just a rough call out today.”

Gail looked up and took in her ex for the first time. Holly looked exhausted. The woman Gail had met in the woods all that time ago was a long way away from the woman that sat across from her now. Her eyes didn’t have the same sparkle.

“Are _you_ alright?” She asked.

Holly shrugged and finished her drink off in one gulp. “I’m surviving.”

She picked up the empty glasses and took them to the bar to get the next round.

When she returned they talked about her time in San Francisco and their previous conversation was forgotten. It almost was like they hadn’t been apart. The hours passed without either of the women noticing and it was only when Gail received a text from Frankie informing her that she wouldn’t be home that they realised the time. They made their way outside and sat on a wall waiting for their taxi to arrive.

“What did you mean from before, that you’re surviving?” Gail asked, breaking the silence.

“Oh nothing, just something that happened recently. It’s nothing really Gail,” Holly replied vaguely, trying to end the conversation.

“Is it why you left San Francisco? Did something happen there?” Gail pushed, her eyes piercing into the side of Holly’s face.

“No, nothing happened there. Just drop it Gail seriously.” Holly stood up, trying to put some distance between them but Gail followed.

“Holly come on. I want to help you. What the hell is going on?”

Holly spun around, grabbing the blonde and kissing her. Gail froze for a moment before realising what was going on, pushing the brunette away from her.

“What the hell Holly?!” She yelled, wiping at her mouth furiously.

“You! You’re the fucking reason I’m screwed up. I was a mess in San Francisco when I first got there. I finally get myself back to normal and I make the extremely stupid decision to return here. You’ve just sent me straight back to how I was when I first left you.”

Holly slumped down to the ground and sobs erupted from her body. Gail dropped down next to her and pulled her into a hug. The sobs finally subsided and Holly turned to the woman holding her.

“Please call off the engagement.”

Gail hesitated, eyes locked with the other woman. She considered the future they could possibly have together for a moment before shaking her head and standing up.

“I can’t.” She said finally. “I can’t go back again. I love Frankie, I really do. I will always care for you Holly but we missed our chance. We just met each other at the wrong point in our lives.”

Holly’s eyes closed. “It’s not fucking fair Gail.”

The taxi pulled into the parking lot and Holly stood up.

“I know,” Gail replied. “You have this taxi I’ll walk home, I think that’s best.”

Holly nodded before slipping into the taxi. The blonde watched as it drove away. Her phone beeped indicating a text and she unlocked the screen. It was another text from Frankie.

_Hey babe, sorry for not making it home tonight. Sleep well and I’ll make it up to you tomorrow ;) – F x_

She ran a hand through her hair. She had done nothing wrong yet she felt so guilty. She turned and walked back into the bar.

“Fuck.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: There may be a few errors in this, wanted to post it before I went out for the night. Have a good weekend everyone!

Gail woke up late the next day, and spent the remainder of it lying in the dark popping painkillers. She had probably drank a bit more than she should have done after Holly had left. She wasn’t used to drinking huge amounts anymore, her tolerance had declined massively.

The door opened around 6pm in the evening and Gail was still suffering. Frankie smirked at the sight of her fiancée on the sofa. She hadn’t seen her hung-over for quite a while now.

“You alright babe?” She asked, plopping on the sofa next to the blonde’s feet. “I didn’t realise you were going out last night. Thinking about it most of them were working last night. Who did you get wasted with?”

Gail grunted before heaving herself upright.

“Had a bad case so I went to the Penny for a few,” she replied.

Frankie smiled sympathetically. “Why didn’t you call me? Nobody mentioned anything major happening yesterday. I mean nothing bad enough for you to need to drink it away.”

Gail rubbed her face harshly and sighed, pulling herself around to face the brunette.

“It wasn’t that bad. I mean it was but it wasn’t the whole reason I got drunk. I bumped into Holly in there and we got talking. Guess I drank more than I thought.”

Gail caught the flicker of pain that crossed Frankie’s face, however brief it was. She pulled the brunette’s hands into her lap and stroked her thumbs across them.

“Frankie, seriously. We were just talking. I’m marrying you, you have nothing to worry about I promise.”

Frankie pulled her hands out of her grasp and stood up, pacing around the living room.

“I’m not stupid Gail, I can see the way she looks at you. You might not have feelings for her but she definitely is still into you.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “Look I trust you Gail I really do. I know nothing happened I just love you so much…”

Gail felt a tear slide down her cheek, the guilt was consuming her.

“She kissed me. I pushed her away straight away but it still happened, I don’t know if I was leading her on or something. I don’t think I was,”

Frankie cut her off, pulling her into a kiss. It was hard and messy, the brunette taking complete control. Gail felt the other woman’s tears mingling with her own and pulled away, but kept the other woman close.

“You’re mine,” Frankie growled, fingers gripping the blonde’s waist tightly.

Gail nodded, wiping the brunette’s tears away gently. “I’m yours. I did agree to marry you didn’t I?”

Frankie smiled and pulled her into a hug. The stood for a while, just holding each other. Frankie pulled back, tucking blonde hair behind an ear.

“Am I allowed to terrorise her even more now at work?” She asked, a playful smirk on her face.

Gail smiled sadly, shaking her head. “She’s really messed up about it all Frankie, I think she’ll be punishing herself enough for it.”

“Anything for you babe,” Frankie replied, pulling her fiancée into their bedroom.

 

-

 

It was only a few days before Frankie got a case that required her to visit the morgue. All her natural instincts were telling her to go ape-shit at the Doc but she had promised Gail to play nice. Holly looked up as she came through the door. Her face visibly paled and her mouth opened and closed like she wanted to say something.

“Detective Anderson, I didn’t realise you was on this case,” she mumbled finally, turning back to the body on the table.

“Gail told me,” she said simply.

The tools that Holly had just picked up clattered on the aluminium noisily. Her head shot up, her eyes wide.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “It was completely my fault, Gail pushed me away straight away.”

“I know. I trust her,” Frankie replied coolly. “But I definitely don’t trust you. What happened that night was not cool Doc.”

“I know, Frankie I promise it will never happen again.” Holly said earnestly. “I don’t even know what I was thinking, asking her to call off the engagement,” she continued, rambling.

Frankie’s eyes shot up, that was something Gail had left out.

“You what,” she growled, her eyes glaring daggers into the other woman.

“You didn’t know that…” she trailed off.

“No, she was protecting you. Fucking hell Gail,” she whispered, running a hand through her hair. “She thinks I’ll turn back into the hot head I used to be. She’s scared I’ll rip your head off or something.”

She walked up the table and pointed at the body. “Tell me what I need to know.”

Holly paused for a second, shocked at the sudden change in the detective. She then picked the file and started her explanation of cause of death.

When Holly had finished, Frankie turned on her heel and stalked out, heading straight towards 15th division. She arrived and wandered the halls until she found Gail. She grabbed her arm and gently tugged her into the changing rooms.

“I’m not who I was a year ago.” She started, eyes locked with the blonde’s.

“I know…” Gail trailed off, not knowing where this conversation was going.

“You need to trust me not to go off the rails every time something happens. You can’t keep things from me because you think I’m going to kick off at somebody.”

Gail nodded hesitantly. “Has something happened?”

“Holly told me she asked you to call off the engagement,” Frankie explained.

Gail sighed and pulled Frankie’s hand into both of hers.

“Frankie… Holly wasn’t just an ex. I thought she was the love of my life. Maybe she was I don’t know, maybe you get more than one.” Gail paused, gathering her thoughts. “Frankie I’m completely in love with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ll even put up with the way you chew. Maybe if Holly hadn’t left I wouldn’t have had the chance to fall in love with you, but she did and I did. I care for Holly, she’s going through a lot and I knew you’d be mad. You have every right to be mad at what she did. But I care for her, and I realised that night, before everything went to shit, that I missed her as a friend, not as a girlfriend. You saved me Frankie, you have been nothing but perfect since we got together and that’s why I don’t miss her in the way that she misses me. I have you.”

Gail kissed the back of the detective’s hands and smiled. Frankie chuckled softly, pulling the blonde in for a hug.

“I freaked out for a while there huh?”

“Just a little babe.” Gail pulled Frankie’s face to hers gently and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “I have to get back to work,” she whispered against the other woman’s lips.

Frankie pulled away and nodded. “I’ll see you later at home? I’ve got another case so I might be late.”

Gail nodded and kissed her again before slipping out.

Frankie let her head drop back against the locker with a thud. She chuckled softly to herself before pushing herself up and heading back to her desk.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: Halfway through now! Hope everybody is still enjoying it.

Gail had been summoned to the Penny by Traci to start planning the wedding. Frankie had bailed on her, saying that her mother was dragging her to some fancy theatre night out. Gail was just happy she hadn’t been dragged along with her. She wandered in and immediately noticed Traci and Chloe sat at a table completely covered in bride magazines. She rolled her eyes and joined them, both of them looking up at her excitedly once they noticed her presence.

“Oh my god Gail isn’t this so exciting!” Chloe squealed, clapping her hands together.

Traci covered her smirk with her hand and motioned for Gail to sit down.

“Where do you want to start?” She asked, handing Gail a pile of glossy magazines.

“I don’t even know, I think we should make it small you know? I don’t think either of us could handle a huge wedding.” Gail replied, picking up the first magazine hesitantly.

Both of the other women nodded eagerly and they got started with some brief plans. Gail didn’t really want to plan anything set in stone without Frankie’s input. Eventually she got fed up and decided that alcohol was needed to carry on the evening. She ordered a round at the bar and waited for the drinks to be made, eyes glancing around the room. The door opening and a couple of people from the lab entering caught her attention. Holly was the last one through the door, eyes searching the room nervously, looking like she would rather be anywhere but here. They finally found Gail’s and the blonde held up a hand in greeting. Holly smiled back before quickly following her group to a table.

A tray of drinks was placed in front of Gail, drawing her attention away from the brunette. She took them back to the table. Traci was looking at her pleadingly.

“What?” She asked, feeling completely out of the loop.

“Traci fancies that new guy from the lab and she really wants you to ask Holly and their group to join us so she can flirt with him.” Chloe chimed in, completely oblivious to the death stare Traci was now sending her.

“I think it might be a bit awkward.” Gail rushed out, hoping that they wouldn’t push for details even though she knew it was pointless.

“What why? I thought you had already spoke to her since she came back?” Traci asked.

“Something happened,” Gail said, biting her lip nervously.

“What!?” Traci snapped. “Does Frankie know?”

Gail’s eyes flashed angrily for a brief second. “ _I_ didn’t do anything. I told Frankie straight away.”

Traci smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I just thought for a moment there…”

Gail waved her apology away. She was torn on what to do though. She still felt a lot of guilt with what had happened with Steve and if this was going to make Traci happy…

“I’ll go get them,” she said, getting up and moving over to Holly’s table.

Gail crouched down so she was level with Holly in the booth.

“You need to convince your group to join ours,” she whispered quickly.

Holly raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“I’ll tell you later,” Gail added, aware of the attention the rest of the group was starting to pay her before jumping up and heading back to the table.

5 minutes later the lab nerds made their way over and introductions were made. Gail couldn’t help but notice the sad smile on Holly’s face when she noticed the magazines that had been piled up and shoved under Traci’s seat.

Gail and Chloe made sure that Traci was sat next to the new guy and the blonde was secretly relieved that Holly was on the other side of the table. Traci knew quite a few of the new additions to the table from work and Chloe was naturally social so Gail was able to slip away from the conversation unnoticed. She eventually found herself sat at the bar drinking alone which suited her fine.

“You going to tell me why now?” Holly asked, turning away briefly to order a drink.

“Oh Traci fancies that new guy.” Gail replied with a slight smirk.

Holly chuckled and took a sip of her drink.

“Look Holly…”

“Gail I…”

Both women started at the same time, both laughed slightly and Gail motioned to Holly to talk first.

“I just wanted to apologise for the other night. It was totally out of character for me and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I hope I didn’t cause any drama between you and Detective Anderson.” Holly said sincerely.

“Holly don’t worry, me and Frankie are fine. I was wondering if we could just put it behind us, and maybe work on being friends. I had a really good time just hanging out with you that night.” Gail replied.

Holly smiled weakly and glanced down at her feet. “I missed being your friend too.” She said, pausing before continuing. “I just don’t know if I can at the moment Gail.”

Gail nodded understandingly. “Well whenever you’re ready I shall be here.” Gail replied before slipping off the stool and walking back to the table. However before she made it the door opened and Frankie walked in.

A smile grew on Gail’s face and the blonde watched as her fiancée shrugged her coat off revealing the dress she had on beneath. Gail’s expression completely changed. Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes darkened. A red flush grew from her chest up to her neck. Frankie was wearing a dress the blonde had never seen before and it was definitely not one the detective should have been wearing to the theatre with her mother.

Frankie caught the look on Gail’s face and smirked. Eventually the blonde snapped out of her haze and her look turned to one of adoration.

“You look stunning,” Gail said, grabbing the brunette’s hips and pulling her towards her for a kiss. “This dress is amazing,” she whispered between kisses.

“I thought you might like it,” Frankie replied, still smirking.

“Wow Anderson you scrub up pretty well,” Traci yelled from the table, Chloe next to her wolf whistling.

Frankie’s smirk only grew, grabbing the blonde’s hand and pulling her with her to the table.

Holly turned back to the bar after witnessing the entire interaction. She had seen the way Gail looked at Frankie, it was the way Gail used to look at _her_. She realised now that what Gail had with Frankie was real, that Gail wouldn’t just leave her. She downed her drink, knowing that she had to move on from the blonde, however painful it may be.


End file.
